{"id":54,"date":"2009-07-03T17:20:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-03T11:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mriyas.com\/wp\/?p=54"},"modified":"2011-01-27T14:42:05","modified_gmt":"2011-01-27T09:12:05","slug":"the-top-5-misconceptions-of-backbiting-and-how-to-respond-to-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mriyas.com\/wp\/?p=54","title":{"rendered":"The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/h4>\n

Source: SaqibSaab<\/a><\/p>\n

\"cannibal_meat_market_foot.jpg\"<\/a>Backbiting is one of those Islamic topics that often gets sidelined. Appearing as one of the frequent tarb\u012byyah<\/em> topics in common circles and gatherings, the issue may be forgotten or ignored. This is severely problematic, as backbiting is one of the most devastating sins a person can ever commit, and not keeping ourselves reminded about it can lead to grave consequences.<\/p>\n

To make it fresh in our minds again, let\u2019s tackle the issue in a practical way. Here are 5 common misconceptions that we ourselves or others you encounter may have about backbiting, what is misunderstood, and how to respond to them.<\/p>\n

Misconception #5: I\u2019m not backbiting, I\u2019m just saying.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When people respond with, \u201cI\u2019m just saying,\u201d they\u2019re telling themselves that what they\u2019re mentioning is not something so bad as backbiting, it\u2019s just \u201csaying\u201d things as they are. In other words, they\u2019re trivializing the act, and telling themselves that backbiting isn\u2019t really all that bad.<\/p>\n

But backbiting is no walk in the park. It\u2019s one of the most disgusting acts one could ever commit. That\u2019s why Allah sub\u1e25\u0101na wa ta\u2019\u0101la<\/em> asks those who backbite, \u201cWould one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother (or sister)?\u201d1<\/sup> God Himself is comparing backbiting to something vilely rancid, so no one is fooled to think it\u2019s not an inhuman act like that of murder or rape. The imagery of you eating the dead carcass of the person you\u2019re talking about really paints a clear picture.<\/p>\n

Not only that, Allah is asking us if we would love eating that flesh. It\u2019s as if He is saying not only is backbiting as disgusting as eating that person\u2019s dead flesh, when we backbite, it\u2019s as if we enjoy eating it, too.<\/p>\n

Response: Describe to them how disgusting an act backbiting really is.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not, just saying. You\u2019re going to that person\u2019s body after their jan\u0101zah<\/em>, ripping off their thigh, chewing it up, and enjoying it, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Misconception #4: <\/strong>I\u2019m not backbiting, everyone already knows about this person, anyway.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If a person is mentioning things about someone already known, not only are they still backbiting, they\u2019re following the footsteps of hypocrites. The hypocrites of Medinah spread rumors about \u2018\u0100\u2019isha, may Allah be pleased with her, and as a result were cursed by Allah to the depths of Hellfire.2<\/sup><\/p>\n

Hellfire, which was intensified by Allah for thousands of years, turning its flame from orange to red to yellow to black3<\/sup>, and burns 70 times worse than Earth\u2019s fire (minimum 210th degree burns?)4<\/sup>. The same Hellfire where those who spread lies about others get hooks pierced into their cheeks and slammed back to rip off their faces, and are given scalding hot puss to drink as relief.<\/p>\n

If everyone already knows about it, why spread it and potentially go to the horror that is Hell? And if not the Hellfire, then being punished in the grave with copper nails repeatedly scratching your face and chest off?5<\/sup> The risk simply isn\u2019t worth it.<\/p>\n

Response: Remind them about the punishment of backbiting and how it makes spreading rumors not worth the risk.<\/p>\n

\u201cMentioning what everyone already knows about somebody is a dangerous path to Hellfire. Is spreading the news so important that it\u2019s worth living with black fire that\u2019s 70 times hotter, boiling puss drinks and having your cheeks ripped off your face?\u201d<\/p>\n

Misconception #3: I\u2019m not backbiting, I\u2019m warning others about <\/strong>a person\u2019s mistakes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Human beings have a natural desire to warn others about harm. That\u2019s why when they see something wrong with someone else, they\u2019ll personally identify those characteristics as a problem, make a decision to be careful about it for themselves, and naturally want to notify others about it as well.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s where the problem comes in. We want to naturally talk about someone else\u2019s faults, but if we do, it\u2019s backbiting. How can we get past this natural desire that\u2019s so troublesome?<\/p>\n

Simple. First we need to realize which of these natural tendencies is okay and which isn\u2019t. It\u2019s completely okay to be adverse to the faults of others. However, telling others about those mistakes, while naturally easy, is the major sin of the two.<\/p>\n

The Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> said backbiting is \u201ctalking about your brother in a manner which he does not like.\u201d6 <\/sup>That means saying anything about the person that they wouldn\u2019t want you to counts as backbiting. If you know the person you\u2019re talking about wouldn\u2019t like what you\u2019re saying about them, don\u2019t say it.<\/p>\n

If we feel the desire to go out and warn someone about it, do so on the person with the faults in the first place in a kind and sincere manner. Our problem as Muslims is that we talk a lot about people behind their backs but never confront them in person.<\/p>\n

Seconldy, on an encouraging note, remember that by not backbiting, we get closer to guaranteed Paradise. The Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> said whoever guarantees control over what is in between their thighs and their jaws, he will guarantee them Paradise.7<\/sup><\/p>\n

This guarantee is awesome in two ways. Not only makes not backbiting easier because of the amazing goal attached to it, it comforts us in the fact that our religion understands. Notice how the Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> asked for whoever guarantees control, showing that he knows it\u2019s natural to lose control. But at the same time, he\u2019s encouraging us to take that control and work towards Paradise.<\/p>\n

Response: Explain to them what backbiting is and the reward of abstaining from it.<\/p>\n

\u201cTalking about others negative traits in anyway shape or form is backbiting and none of your business, and if you stay away from it you\u2019re working towards guaranteed admission to Paradise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Misconception #2: I\u2019m not backbiting, I\u2019ll tell them later or <\/strong>I don\u2019t care, I can<\/strong> say it to their face.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some people justify backbiting by thinking if they inform the person later they were talking about them behind their back, it makes the act okay. But telling someone you backbit about them after the fact is a part of the process of repenting and making up for the sin. It has to be done sincerely, with regret and shame for the act, driven by a balanced fear of Allah\u2019s punishment and a hope in His Mercy.<\/p>\n

Trying to justify backbiting by telling someone you backbit about them is like trying to justify believing Prophet Jesus, peace be upon him, as the son of Allah by saying you will just repent later. Not only is it an imbalance between fearing Allah and having hope He will forgive you, it doesn\u2019t make the act okay to commit in the first place.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s worse is when some people claim they, \u201cdon\u2019t care\u201d about backbiting and they supposedly can or will say what they backbit about someone to their. Not only is that even more of a misunderstanding than planning to tell them later, it just shows two things. One, they\u2019re just a jerk. It isn\u2019t bad enough that they\u2019re backbiting, but they have to go and act \u201cbrave\u201d by claiming they can tell the person the insult to their face.<\/p>\n

In addition to being a jerk, they also need to be careful when they say, \u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d Do they really not care? And what do they not care about? They don\u2019t care about incinerating in that 70 times hotter black fire we mentioned before? And having their cheeks ripped off your face and having to drink searing hot puss afterward? Are they really sure they don\u2019t care? Chances are no.<\/p>\n

Response: Backbiting about someone with the intention to tell them later doesn\u2019t make it okay. It\u2019s still backbiting. And claiming you, \u201cdon\u2019t care\u201d and can say it to their face shows that you\u2019re a jerk and don\u2019t care about the Hellfire.<\/p>\n

Misconception #1: I\u2019m not backbiting, it\u2019s true.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This, by far, is the most common misconception and response we find Muslims making when we warn them about backbiting. They think that backbiting is only when you mention bad things about people that aren\u2019t true. Is that really the case?<\/p>\n

Going back to the definition of backbiting, the Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> said backbiting is to mention things about your brother (or sister) which they don\u2019t like. After the Companions heard this definition, one of them asked, \u201cwhat do you think about if what I say about that person is true?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf (that) is actually found (in that person) what you claimed, you, in fact, backbit him. And if that\u2019s not in that person, it\u2019s slander,\u201d the Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> answered.<\/p>\n

This shows that we\u2019ve got it all wrong. Just because what we\u2019re saying is true, doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not backbiting. In fact, it proves that we are indeed backbiting, because backbiting is true information. If it wasn\u2019t true, we\u2019d be doing something worse than backbiting, slander.<\/p>\n

That makes a whole lot of things count as backbiting. That\u2019s why when \u2018\u0100\u2019isha said about \u1e62af\u012byya, the wife of the Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> who was the daughter of a Jewish leader, that, \u201cshe\u2019s short,\u201d he got upset and said, \u201cyou have said a word that if were to be dropped into the sea it would contaminate it.\u201d8<\/sup><\/p>\n

\u2018\u0100\u2019isha and the Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> knew about \u1e62af\u012byya\u2019s height. So did everyone else who saw her in Medinah, and all the people from her tribe before she married the Prophet. In other words, what \u2018\u0100\u2019isha said was as true as it gets. But the fact that it was true made it backbiting. And if something as small as what she said was poison to the entire sea, what about when we talk about how people may be gaining weight, undergoing a divorce, losing their hair, struggling to control their anger, failing to give up a public sin, or anything else they wouldn\u2019t like said about them?<\/p>\n

Response: Inform them about truth being backbiting and falsehood being slander.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, you\u2019re backbiting, because the Prophet sal Allahu \u2018alayhi wa sallam<\/em> if it\u2019s true, which you\u2019re saying it is, then it\u2019s backbiting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Backbiting is no misdemeanor. It\u2019s a federal offense. In fact, it\u2019s more than that. It\u2019s a universal act of ethical treason, the likes of which transcend this world and has severe consequences in the next.<\/p>\n

We need to remember that when we signed up to become Muslim, we agreed to follow all of the rules, and one of the rules is that for anyone else who signed up for the contract of L\u0101 il\u0101h ha illa All\u0101h, Mu\u1e25ammmad al-ras\u016blull\u0101h<\/em> you can\u2019t ever talk behind their back. Doing so is not only a horrible sin and a disgusting act, it\u2019s one of the worst things you could ever do to your Muslim brother or sister.<\/p>\n

While you may be fired up to use the responses to these misconceptions and are trying to think of people you could use them on, ask yourself if the person to respond to is none other than you. Do you have these misconceptions about backbiting? Have you ever made any of these five justifications or something similar to them? If so, give yourself the responses and work on yourself first, and eventually, you can work on correcting others, as well.<\/p>\n

1. Qur\u2019\u0101n: Surah \u1e24ujur\u0101t, chapter 49, verse 12, Sahih International translation<\/p>\n

2. Qur\u2019\u0101n: Surah N\u016br, chapter 24, verse 11<\/p>\n

3. \u1e24ad\u012bth: Sunan al-Tirmidh\u012b<\/p>\n

4. \u1e24ad\u012bth: Bukhar\u012b 3265; Muslim, 2843<\/p>\n

5. \u1e24ad\u012bth: Sunan Ab\u012b D\u0101w\u016bd 4875, Book 41, Number 4860<\/p>\n

6. \u1e24ad\u012bth: Muslim, Book 032, Chapter 18, Number 6265, narrated Ab\u016b Hurairah<\/p>\n

7. \u1e24ad\u012bth: Bukhar\u012b, Volume 8, Book 82, Number 799, narrated Sahl bin S\u0101\u2018d<\/p>\n

8. \u1e24ad\u012bth: Sunan al-Tirmidh\u012b 2502, Sunan Ab\u012b D\u0101w\u016bd 4875<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Source: SaqibSaab Backbiting is one of those Islamic topics that often gets sidelined. Appearing as one of the frequent tarb\u012byyah topics in common circles and gatherings, the issue may be forgotten or ignored. This is severely problematic, as backbiting is one of the most devastating sins a person can ever commit, and not keeping ourselves… <\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-islamic-articles"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them | Humanity. Brotherhood. Peace.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mriyas.com\/wp\/?p=54\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them | Humanity. Brotherhood. 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